Miss you Dad.

Dad,

What I would give to have you here now. I am so so empty and angry! I need you still I am still your baby. I just want to be with you now. I wish you would come and see me in my dreams so we could spend some time together.

I would cut my own hand off to eat one of your roast dinners. Every sunday I miss starving my self in prep of our family dinners. Just smelling the meat in the morning.. then my tummy rumbles.. all through the day I went by smell.. soon as I smelt the veg cooking I knew it wasn't long before you would shout out all our names for dinner... some times you forgot one of our names lol and I would laugh in my room.

I am so sorry for the way I treated you dad, And I am so sorry I wasn't there holding your hand when I should have. I know you would have killed your self for me with out thinking about it. I was the worst daughter to you, and I know it. but you still loved and protected me.

I cant believe your gone, I wish it was me I truly do. You going is like the world ending for all of us. Half of my heart is dead I just wish I was. I want to be with you soon dad and I know that hurts you when I say that but I cant live with out you.

Every Birthday I have, I have to walk past your chair and see it empty and not hear happy birthday darling and not have you make me a tea I don't want to have another!

You were my hero you are my hero. I love you dad with all my heart and I am sorry! xox