Tuesday

Friday

Follow your dream.?


INFJs are innovative types who feel compelled to use their ideas to make the world a better place to live. Their desire to create something new could be as grand as designing the vision for an organisation, or as simple as speaking to someone in a way which leads the other to an important insight about themselves. Whatever their idea or vision, INFJs rarely come across as demanding and usually have a quiet, yet inspiring way about them. 

INFJs’ favourite process is intution and this they pursue most readily while they are on their own. It is in moments of private reflection that INFJs generate ideas and possibilities. It is also in this private space that they are most likely to ponder the mysteries and meaning of life. INFJs are particularly drawn to view life from their own unique perspective and they are attracted to the idea of “thinking outside the box”. Their combination of preferences means they often see the world in terms of symbols and metaphors. Many INFJs use their facility with symbolism in writing, art or teaching.

 

INFJs often say they have a “quest for knowledge” but they are rarely interested in learning for its own sake. They can and do make scientists and academics, but INFJs are less interested in using their intuition in abstract ways as they prefer to use it in conjunction with their feeling. 

 

This means that INFJs usually want their ideas and insights to be of real tangible benefit to others. They have a great need to feel they are pursuing a meaningful long-term goal of some kind.  In fact, they can be so purposeful in the pursuit of their goals that they can often come across as very practical and task-oriented when in fact they are, at heart, imaginary, visionary types. 

 

INFJs spend much of their time trying to fathom out what makes other people tick and generally trying to understand them better. They are particularly drawn to seeing the possibilities for people. “Growth” – their own and others - is a hugely important word for INFJs. The often say they enjoy nothing more than connecting and relating to people in ways which leads that person to obtain insights about themselves and ideas for their development.  They often describe themselves as “listeners” and “guides”. 

 

These attitudes and skills are clearly important in some of the jobs INFJs find attractive – the ministry, teaching, social work and medicine. They are often attracted into management positions. Even when they are not in teaching roles as such, they often assume the role of teacher or mentor, helping to “guide” or inspire their colleagues to greater things. As leaders they tend to “win” people to their ideas and views rather than using status or intellectual muscle to gain support.

 

Like other NFs, INFJs have a great need to feel authentic and to be true to themselves. They are very drawn to the spiritual side of life and often have strongly held beliefs. Their strong value system often means they can be rather judgmental of others. They are usually tolerant but can find it difficult to accept people they see as superficial or insincere. 

 

INFJs often say they like observing people from a distance before deciding whether they want to get to know them better.  Even then, INFJs have to trust someone a lot before they really open up. Most say they only have a few very good friends and that even people close to them still find them “mysterious”. 

 

As Js they find it easy to keep their focus on organisation but like all NJ types their lack of attention to practical detail can mean their organisation falls apart slightly at the seams. They could misread their diary, for example, or pick up the wrong documents.

 

Harmony is generally important for INFJs and they will often try to avoid conflict at all costs. This can sometimes lead to greater conflict however as by failing to deal with problems in a timely and direct manner they can often escalate. INFJs can be very courageous and will be prepared to provoke conflict if any of their fundamental values are violated by others. They will not stand by and watch others mistreating people, for example. 

 

INFJs can give out mixed messages to others. On the surface, they come over as people who have a great need for harmony and co-operation. But deep down they often have a greater need to pay attention to their own very individualistic vision. Sometimes this can be so strong that they will not listen to others’ views. In these instances they can seem determined to the point of being stubborn. They may also appear out of touch. 

 

Ultimately it is important for INFJs to keep their intuition within useful bounds. They must come to see that their inner vision is not always right. It can be overly abstract and impractical and not take adequate account of “real politic”. They can often become more effective if they subject their ideas and vision to other people’s views, particularly people with a preference for sensing and thinking. 

 

INFJ overview

 

Words to describe INFJs

reflective     intense reserved

determined innovative original

sensitive         focused         devoted

idealistic         committed loyal

creative         appreciative compassionate

 

Careers attractive to INFJs

The ministry, fine art, medicine, architecture, social work, psychiatry, teaching.

 

Needs at work

  • The opportunity to have a “vision” and sense of mission. 
  • Harmony
  • Privacy and time for reflection
  • May need encouragement to assert themselves more.

Anticipated work/team strengths

  • Having a strong value-driven vision for what the organisation could be like.
  • Coming up with new ways of looking at problems.
  • Being sensitive to other people and what they need to do their best work. 
  • Working with unflagging commitment.
  • Inspiring others and setting a good example.

Potential problem areas

  • May come up with a vision or ideas which are not practical enough.
  • May pursue their vision with single-minded and blinkered determination. 
  • May not criticise others when needed and not handle difficult issues in a timely and effective manner. 
  • May not communicate enough and seem somewhat aloof. 
  • May not be prepared to argue strongly for what they believe in. 

Likely areas for improvement

  • Learning to be more forthright in expressing their views and opinions.
  • Learning to give criticism and handle conflict more assertively.  
  • Deliberately consulting other types on their vision and ideas. (A reality check.)
  • Being less judgmental of others who have different values or standards. 

Common relationship Issues for INFJs

INFJs show caring by noticing what would be of help and support to someone.  This may be practical but can also be linked to that person’s personal or sprititual development. 

 

INFJs like others to acknowledge the depth and relevance of their insights and suggestions and, ideally, to use them in some tangible way. 

 

INFJ Type Dynamics

Dominant – intuition  – introverted

Auxiliary -  feeling  -  extraverted

Tertiary   -   thinking

Inferior   -    sensing 

 

 





Wednesday

INFJ Anger style: INFJ The incorruptible ninja on a vendetta:


It means facing your fears and exposing the grittiness of your own human existence. Sound familiar INFJ? Okay, it sounds like martyr-dom and yes, it is. An INFJ knows ALL about martyrdom.

In extremely threatening cases, an INFJ can go all angry ninja style on anybody's arse. And i mean emotionally. They will cut you up and hang you out to dry. Emotionally. That is the key word here. 


He we won't stop until he's wasted your emotional landscape, and neither will we. INFj's at their weakest or best can be like double edged swords, yes we can see deep into people's hearts, their motivations their good qualities, mirror their thoughts, actions and their desires to bring you relief or joy. INFJ's listen not only with their ears, but with their heart, they can process and nurture people's good qualities instinctively and mirror your what you want to hear. They are capable of forgiveness even of those with heinous crimes on their records, because yes - they know instinctively that everybody is human, all of us are interconnected and we all make mistakes, an INFJ has an uncanny ability to recognize that everybody is just a mirror of themselves. The best INFJ's carry a karmic awareness at all times. 



However, INFJ's can also see through people's weaknesses, their motivations, their dark sides and their 'secrets' if you will, we watch carefully how they treat strangers with ill will, and notice if they treat their friends with kindness or if they are self serving. With that knowledge they back it up like a hard drive. They remember. How they use that information, is up to them. That choice, is what makes them grow or go backwards. 


God forbid anybody come across an INFJ, hell or highwater because once you cross them - at best they will drop you like a hot pan and dissappear regardless of how long you've known them. At worst, be prepared for having all your insecurities and fears gutted and exposed. And they make sure you remember. They can dive deep into your heart to inspire you, but like that double edged sword they can cut straight into your heart with their words. They tell you the truth exactly as it is, whilst you are still grappling with the fact they knew how you felt all along, they expose all your ugliest motivations to air and for all to see. INFJ's are adept at understanding the language of the human heart and what it wants and needs on an intangible level. They are expert emotional anthropologists. They understand boundaries and will not tell people how you feel, what is on yourmind. This is because they know this information is precious, of course... until the shit hits the fan so to speak and then, they reveal everything about you. The ugly you. Every. Ugly. Detail. 


They get under your skin and let loose slowly and methodically (yep, there's that organization in action) anything they know about your weaknesses, everything they use turns it a kind of melodramatic piece of theatre relaying everything from your sexual indiscretions, faults, lack of listening skills and weaving it expertly by making sure every one of your emotional weaknesses are exploited. They hone in on your fears at the present moment and creatively exploit them for full effect, targeting fears, anxieties, guilt and expertly play them like a symphony. They understand the darkness in themselves and they recognize it in you. 


Hell hath no fury like an INFJ scorned. Subtle, slow and insidioius is the scorned style of an INFJ. They can get creative with their scorn - they might have the dignity and coldness of a queen while they exploit your weaknesses. They personally tailor each and every remark for full emotional effect. They may tell you calmly and caustically why you cheated them and explain your insecurities in front of a large group of intimate friends whilst you sweat, hiding their motives behind dry wit and humour. They will adjust their level of scorn for whatever is appropriate for your character. If it's a quick, derisive comment or a long confession of your insecurities - they will know which button to press to get to your heart. If it's guilt they want to summon, they know what to say to make you feel it, they'll remember an event or a whisper of an insecurity you have and they will bring it up. They remember the nuances in your dialogue, your emotional landscape - they remember your weaknesses and in an organized (judging) manner, categorically shoot each and every one of them down till they are satisfied you have sated their need for justice. 




The scariness (or genius) of an INFJ however lies in the fact that they know how to adjust the temperature of their perceived hurt so that the other person feels the full effect of their remarks. Just as they can easily take the emotional temperature of a room just by walking into it, they know that getting completely angry is ineffective. So they manage their delivery intuitively, depending on your character so that the recipient has no room to retaliate - an INFJ instincitively knows if they expose a certain insecurity in you and say something softly, it is more effective than going completely a-wohl. They skirt over your anger and any issues they know will completely provoke you to not listening at all. They want to expose the truth, come hell or high water and if that means you feel reduced to something like a small child - totally exposed and a little humiliated, so be it. They will broach the topic carefully, throw in a caustic remark - you might not be able to retaliate to because the topic for you is so personal. It is completely tactical. They want to expose you remember, so they think carefully about the delivery of a remark and it's intention before it comes out. 



You know that secret you told them when you first met them with an open heart and open mind? If you've deeply betrayed them, they will remember it, bring it up and flippantly tell you they weren't really listening, and they didn't really care for it if that's what it takes to hurt you. 



The purpose? The truth of course. The phrase, 'Shed light on your sorry ass', has never been more apt. 


This is the darkness and shadow of an INFJ.

Tuesday

Beautiful

I said, when will your lips mine satisfy?
You said, with your wishes I’ll comply.
I said, your lips demand a price so high,
You said, your profits will multiply.
I said, who found you while only on himself rely?
You said, there are very few who even try.
I said, leave the idols, choose the one that won’t die;
You said, for lovers, love to all will apply.
I said, the tavern drowns my every sigh;
You said, happy is the one who makes sorrows fly.
I said, in my creed, the way of wine must defy;
You said, this is the way of the creed of the old Magi.
I said, what use the wine, for one as old as I?
You said, it wets your spring of youth, which has gone dry.
I said, when will the master beside his bride lie?
You said, when the conjunction of moon and Jupiter is nigh.
I said, your praise is Hafiz’s ceaseless cry,
You said, this is the song of the angels in the sky.

Me now.


Randoms






Tuesday

2013

My lil Lana with her little lambies xxxx







Tuesday

My baby Lana

I love her so much. She's six weeks now and she's a little sumo x